Cleaning

Basically there is a lot of cleaning that I need to get done in my life.

My dorm room is a wreck, my agenda is full of chicken scratch assignments, my bed hasn’t been made in week, I have a dozen things open on my desktop, and everything is just in a state of disorganization that is becoming overwhelming. And I don’t know how to rectify this situation.

It bothers me, and this pile of clothes that prevents me from opening the door to my room is growing. Just like my anxiety.

But instead of complaining about all the things that I have to deal with and clean up, I feel like crawling back into my bed and pulling the covers over my head until it feels like the night and all I can hear are my thoughts. Of course, I never want to hear my thoughts. It’s weird stuff, ladies and gents.

But I think after spending the past three days wallowing in what I call “blue time” (for days when my depression takes over and I really just want to sleep and eat, and sometimes I do that – which is not good when you have homework), I’ve realized that I need to put on my big girl pants – actually, big girl shorts, it’s been in the 70’s lately – and clean it all up.

Spring Break is right around the corner. While I may not be going to the beach, I’ll get to go home. I have a lot of brightness waiting for me at home. Lots and lots of brightness that I just can’t wait to experience and see and enjoy.

Now, I don’t want to return from spring break and find that this room, this agenda, this¬†life is still as untidy as the way it is now?

Nope.

I want it clean, and tidy, and much more attune to what I want out of it.

I guess it’s time to get to work.


 

lydia. 

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